This bug…this flipping bug hitched a ride with me this morning. He must have been hiding out in, on or around my purse, sneaky little bugger. I probably would have never noticed the little guy either. Most bugs just go about their bug lives lurking in the shadows, if you’re that type of bug, or minding your own business following some invisible line to who knows where. But this bug…this flipping bug, had to be a show off. A bad ass. A cocky little sod.
I was driving home listening to my tunes, bathing in the heat of the heater on full blast. I was enjoying my morning, had a good night’s sleep, great breakfast ect. But as I was driving, I started to hear this weird sound. At first I thought it was some gravel or some road debris hitting my car. It wasn’t a super loud sound but loud enough for me to wonder, “what the heck is that?”. I drove on and just ignored it, but I started hearing it again. This time it was a little louder. I thought it was kind of strange, there were no other cars around me so nothing was dropping on the road, and there wasn’t any visible garbage on the road. “What in the world is that???” I’m saying, so I turn the radio down and listen. Nothing. So I think ok, whatever. That’s when I saw it. I turned to look out the passenger side window and there it sat. This crazy flying beetle thing.
He didn’t know I had seen him yet. He had his little trianglely armored back plate to me. Checking out the scenery, listening to my tunes. He was hanging out in my car like he owned it. And I, well I was just trying to keep calm and stay on the road. No sudden movements ’cause I know this punk can fly!! It’s freaking me out! I know, that once it knows that I know that it knows I’m watching it and I’m terrified…it will take flight and make me crash in a ditch or something crazy.
I tried to keep very calm and try to ignore it. For most of the ride, when I glanced over, it was still in the same spot, just hanging out. So I just tried to keep my eyes forward and not let it get to me. We did fine for the most part, but when I was almost home, I made the mistake of glancing over again. It was looking at me! It was looking at me and it knew I was terrified! I squealed and momentarily went squirrelly on the road. Then I looked back at it, cause now I had to watch the road and keep an eye on it. I knew if I moved it was going to come flying at me. It was just sitting there staring at me. Taunting me. Knowing I was afraid and freaking out, it continued to stare at me and dare me to do something about it. Stupid bug, this stupid flipping bug!
Almost home. Still staring at me. Driveway. Still staring at me. Ok, if I can just park and jump out of the car fast enough I can open the other door and it can fly away to freedom. One last glance over…”EEEEEE” it’s GONE! That punk took off! One last scare tactic from MR. B.A. Beetle…and it worked. I jumped out of that car faster than lightning! I still haven’t found that punk, but I will, and then…I’ll probably just leave all the doors open till I think it’s gone.
Have a great sunshiny day!!