I am a sloooow processor! I’ve always known that, but today it’s very apparent. I am so overwhelmed with different feelings and emotions that I almost shut down. From the outside looking in it may seem like I’m ignoring whatever is going on, but that is definitely not the case. Usually my brain is working overtime to find out what emotion/ feeling is tied to what action that caused this particular reaction. It’s hard to handle sometimes but it’s the better alternative to me exploding in a big ball of curly haired rage….and that’s what it would be. Damn kimchi temper!
Anyway the plus side of processing things slowly is that I can really find what it is that triggers my bad feelings ( usually that’s what it is), and I don’t overreact. Sometimes those first emotions that come flooding to the surface can be pretty dangerous! The down side of being a slow processor is that people tend to get annoyed by it because I don’t have a response and I will turn and walk away, or I just stand there and say nothing. It’s all very overwhelming at times.
So obviously I’ve been missing my writing time trying to untangle some things going on in my head. I find it funny that something that I’m going through today spurred me to write. I think I feel bad that I’m not capable of sorting myself out faster and it can cause other people to hurt because of me coming off as distant. I haven’t abandoned or forgot, I’m just thinking.