Well I have 15 mins before the next two kids wake up so I figure I better do something useful with my time instead of surfing FB. I realize it’s been about a week since I posted anything. The week got away from me, would be a great excuse for not writing. That’s just not true though. I did have time to write and I didn’t. I didn’t force myself to do anything. My brain was screaming at me that I was being counter productive but look who won that battle…Being productive and busy is great but sometimes you just need that break. I needed a break…a long break. My life is changing and transitioning in ways I thought I’d never have to deal with. Add to that a new sleep schedule, that I’m finally adjusting to, and you get one hot mess!
I had to take a little time to do damage control, and for me that had to be mindless activity. I actually got to watch the whole 2nd season of Orange is the New Black!! I was so excited that I could just sit and watch episode after glorious episode, amazing! The rest of the time I honestly don’t know what I did. My activity was truly that mindless. I did however take some of that mindless time to sit and think. To look at my life from the outside. What I have found is that I need to work on me more. Not that I haven’t been doing that, because I can see a difference in the person I was several months ago and the person I am becoming. There are some things about myself that I just ignore because it’s easier to. It’s actually pretty hard to be honest with yourself and admit that ‘yeah you could use some improvements’. I don’t think anybody wants to admit that they real flaws. I hear this quite often: if people don’t like me the way I am then they can move on. Now I’m the first to admit that I totally get that. You shouldn’t change yourself for anyone, you have to be true to yourself and all that jazz. But can you improve on that? Certainly. We can all improve.
Now I think I have some pretty good qualities going for myself and I think most people do, but I do have assholish (spell check will love that) ones too. Not going to get around that. I have a kimchi temper(look it up), I am opinionated, I’m stubborn as hell, too many more to mention. These are the things that need improving because if I saw those qualities in another person it would probably be a huge turnoff. There’s some quote or wise words about things you don’t like in other people are a mirror image of the qualities you don’t like in yourself. Makes sense, so while I say take me as I am, guess I shouldn’t expect someone to accept my Ahole qualities and never complain. So instead I am just going to work on improving those things about myself. And yes, I did need to take that break to step back and really look at things…hmm sounds like a setback that I just learned a lesson from. 😉
Have a great day and I hope the sun is shining for you!